a malaysian abroad

Oh if only I could find an Asian equivalent to that European take on Heaven and Hell…!!

Without such a humourous structure as a base (and as a limit!), it’s all too easy to start delving too deeply into race, politics and the like, taking me to places I do not want to go.

As such, I look to you, dear readers, to help create a light-hearted tongue-in-cheek Asian version of that Heaven and Hell t-shirt.  So far, this is what I’ve come up with:

Heaven is where…

• the police are … Malaysian?
  (It’s rather easy to wriggle out of an offense with some “coffee money”)
• the chefs are … Thai?
  (The local Thai restaurant knows me by name, I order from them so often, LoL!)
• the mechanics are … Japanese!
  (that’s pretty straightforward, they’ve got technological innovations coming out the wazoo, right?)
• the lovers are … Indian!
  (the country that produced the Kama Sutra: no contest!)
• and it’s all organised by … Singaporeans!
  (They are the closest match to the Swiss, methinks!),
  or maybe Chinese?
  (the 2008 Olympics went well, right?)

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Yes, I know, there are plenty more countries in Asia, but those six are what seemed to fit relatively well into the structure provided. Next, I tried to rearrange Malaysia, Thailand, Japan, India and Singapore or China into the Hell version. The result was surprising:

Hell is where…

• the police are … Chinese (think Tiananmen Square), or
  Malaysian (stiff penalties for drug offenses)
• the chefs are … Chinese
  (or any other country that considers dog meat a specialty)
• the mechanics are … Chinese
  (think Chinese knock-offs and counterfeits)
• the lovers are … ??? (nothing comes to mind!!)
• and it’s all organised by … Indians?  Malaysians?
  (How many times have you been given the excuse/reason of “Indian Standard Time” or plain “Malaysian Timing” when people arrive late?)

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Ummmm… yeah, Hell needs a lot more work  :p

Any suggestions or improvements, anyone? The comments are yours!
… I just ask that you please keep it humourous and/or civil.

Ready?  Go!!

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